Writing this blog does not mean I do it out of my set of experiences, it also means I need to constantly educate myself. Not only with stories from you to share, but also to improve my understanding.
You know JEALOUSY! What is it? It is a feeling. It is a feeling that sets in when we see a loved one being joyous with someone else (mostly of the opposite sex). But there is also a jealousy a of a parent who sees a child being very dear with the partner.
Sibling are jealous of each other, if one wants the love of the mother or the father and seemingly cannot get (enough) of it.
I will focus on the feeling in adults, but the other aspects may be as important and if experienced during childhood my lead to a difficult life!
Some weeks back I was chatting and in due course made the statement:”I am not a jealous person”. The reply was:”So you do not love your gf?”
It made me understand that many people think that love and jealousy belong together.
We are all the products of our experiences. Let me tell you my story:
When I was still not a real man, I had fallen in love with a girl. But so had my friend and work mate. One day this girl asked me to ask my friend if she could go to his place and listen to a certain record (this was a time without walk man and mp3 players). I did not relay the message. Well she went there anyway and in the end they ended up being a couple. I was hurt, but I also started to think and realize, that my distrust and my jealousy might well have played a role.
It was an important lesson for me! I realized that jealousy will not change anything. It will make my life bad. Luckily I could get rid of this feeling and whenever it pops up, I remember to give things back to life (or place it into the hands of God , if you like it this way round better).
For many people love is closely connected with jealousy, for me it is closely connected with trust. I am even willing to say that I cannot love a person, I cannot trust!
Now what is this Paul-Effect or St-Paul-Effect? In the letter to the Romans (7, 19) he writes:”I do not do what I like, but I do what I hate.”
Same with jealousy. Most people do not like to be jealous!
Then why are they?
In many relations the attention we get from our partner decreases with time. This is not such a big problem with men, as long as the food is ready and the clothes are cleaned and ironed. But many woman feel alive only when they feel their emotions! No attention, no emotions. Now if they are jealous, they get attention even if the emotions are not of the uplifting type. They are emotions, that can be felt. So the woman gets what she wants-the feeling of being alive!
But there is another side! The husband! If he has a gf, he might feel guilty and give in to the demands of his wife. (But you bet he is not happy about that). If he is not guilty he still might give in, to have his peace of mind back (that is also a behavior of men). But if this happens again and again, he might come to a point when he no longer declines offers from nice work mates, but gives in, because he is accused of it anyway.
And there is still the trust issue! We will talk about it some other time!
I am soul in a male body and I "think" I came into this life to learn about love and lovers
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